A521.4.3.RB_DellElceCamila

A521.4.3.RB – Subtleties of Communication & Hidden Messages

            When communicating with others, our verbal communications do not always match our body expressions, and understanding where this body language comes from is essential. In addition to body gestures, there are also paralanguage, metamessages, and hidden agendas. Albert Mehrabian (1981) suggests, “the total impact of a message breaks down into: 7 percent verbal, 38 percent vocal, and 55 percent body movements” (McKay et. al., 2011, p. 59). If we think about it, most of our communications come from body expressions. Max S. Kirch (1979) from the University of Delaware believes the American non-verbal communications are very different from those in other cultures, specially West European cultures. He believes the transfer of phonological habits from one’s own language to another creates what we call a “foreign accent.”

            In addition, Max S. Kirch anticipates that whoever the speaker might be, he or she is free to choose the message but not the code of the message. “This is strictly imposed by the language, and it is proper that much time and effort be expended in the efficient learning and teaching of this code. The speaker is, however, free to color his message in certain ways, and these ways are predominantly paralinguistic and kinesic” (1979, p. 416). In the same manner, McKay et. al., describes social kinesics as a type of communication that can be learned. He explains how we receive those gestures from one generation to the other without any specific preparation.

            Subsequently, referring back to my own communication abilities makes me think, I have not always demonstrated sincerity or congruence. For the most part, I am a very patient person and usually I have a hard time expressing my feelings or talking about them. Nevertheless, when I do not like something, my facial expressions are too noticeable. McKay et. al., believes “the face is the most expressive part of the body,” (2009, p. 62) and I agree with his statement. In many instances, for example with my husband, if there were something boring me, I would let it built up on me. In other words, it would usually take days before I would talk about it and my husband would ask if I am all right? With my insincerity, I would tell him I am fine, when deep inside of me, I knew, I was not. Back then, I wish I could had spoken sooner and save him and myself time.

            Another good example is the fact that I am Hispanic. Although I was born in America, I was not fully raised here and English is my second language. Hence, when I am trying to communicate a verbal message, I tend to use my hands a lot and sometimes my articulation is affected by my nervousness. I believe hand’s gestures are part of my Hispanic culture and background. “To experience how much you rely on body movements to communicate, try telling a story without using gestures” (McKay et. al., 2009, p. 63). As the authors challenge people to try a simple task, I have tried it and have miserably failed. I cannot talk without using hand-motions; they are part of who I am. Then, when trying to enunciate the words, they come out wrong a people have a hard time understanding me. It is as if you were to read an article with on commas or grammar punctuation in English with a Hispanic accent. The tempo of my speech is lost.

            In order to fix these and future situations, I have to start by learning my facial expressions. I believe I can hide how I feel, but reality is, I am the only one who believes that. Being aware of it would make me more honest to my husband and others and hopefully less afraid to speak up when I am in disagreement. Additionally, making use of hidden agendas as suggested by the authors, could essentially help me realize, I do not need to be “good” all the time. “Hidden agendas are excellent defensive maneuvers if you don’t fell very good about yourself” (McKay et. al., 2009, p. 80). Furthermore, another way of changing my paralanguage deficiencies would be practicing on how to express. A good suggestion mentioned on the book (Messages, The Communication Skills Book), is recording myself while talking to observe how the pitch, volume, rhythm, articulation and tempo really sound. And lastly, practicing the articulation and tempo exercise could potentially help me get rib of unnecessary misunderstandings at work.

References

Kirch, M. (1979). Non-Verbal Communication across Cultures. Modern Language Journal. Vol. 63, No. 8. Retrieved from http://www.jstor.org/stable/326027?seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents

McKay, M., Davis, M., & Fanning, P. (2009). Messages to communication skills book (3^rd ed.). Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

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A521.3.4.RB – Personal Reflection

            When I was only 5 years old, while leaving in New York, Queens, I used to belong to a broken home. My parents were always arguing and my mother used to be very physically aggressive with my father. In a matter of months, they were both divorced and my mother left to Bolivia with my sister to start a new life. I stayed with my father for the next six months to later reunite with my mother and move to South American, Bolivia. Unfortunately, there are no books with guidelines on how to be a parent, and parents really do the best they can or at least that is how I see it now. During the following years leaving with my mom were not easy, and in fact brought immense frustrations.

            I remember, I was probably around 7 years old and probably in my second year in elementary school. That year happened to be the one that would forever change my future. “The turning points in life are a fruitful source of stories. These are moments of disruption when some incident gives us a glimpse of the regions of deeper feeling” (Denning, 2011, p. 100). I remember having to do assignments or big important projects for school and not been able to have an adult by my side to guide me through my work. To make things worse, my younger sister had absent parents as well, and the only one she had was me. My dear mother had decided then, that been young again and clubbing all night was more important than us. Therefore, at an early age, I decided to take responsibility for my sister. I was just a child but back then, I thought I was a grown up and I thought I could be the replacement of my mother to my sister’s needs. And that is exactly how the next years of my life turned out to be. I was taking my sister to special events at her school, finding her customs for her recitals, or helping with her homework. All I wanted to do is see her succeed and not feel the emptiness I was feeling.

            In those years to come, looking back, I could easily pin point everything that went wrong. My father used to leave in a different state, so it was very hard to communicate or go to him whenever I needed someone. I grew up thinking very little of myself as my school performance demonstrated my low capacity to keep up with my grades. In the other hand, my sister loved going to school, had all her grades at one hundred percent, and my family was always telling me how lazy I was compared to my sister. Nevertheless, my childhood made me stronger and I always felt as I could handle anything in my own. It made me mature at an early age and made me realize what matter and right from wrong. By then, I was already the leader of my own short life and I knew exactly what I wanted.

            Years later, another situation happen that sharpened my life. We had already moved back to U.S. Florida and I was leaving with my father. In 2005-2006, I was a senior in High School and ready to graduate. I only had five more months until graduation but obviously, due to my previous experiences; I never did well in school.  And it was not until my counselor called me into her office, that my dreams came crashing. She advised me that due to my academic grades and challenges, I was running behind and that if I did not do something about it, I would have to repeat my senior year. Therefore, for the next five moths left of school, I had to be a junior again until I can prove I am ready. It was not until then that I started to ask myself, what do I want out of life? What I am going to do once I graduate? As imaginable, I started to ask myself a billion questions to come to the conclusion that I wanted to go to college and eventually get a professional degree. Those five months were very intense and I really worked hard to catch up with everything. In the end I graduated but the challenging part was not over and little did I know.

            June 2006, I went to Broward College, took my best friend with me and enrolled myself in school. My first two years were a nightmare, as I did not have any background on how to study properly and I had really bad habits. I started to fail some classes and some others I would barely pass. When graduation came alone, I was somehow proud of myself for finishing but my grade point average was very low and not enough to get me to the next level. And when I found myself limited in what schools would let me pursue my Bachelors, I realized the damage I had created and wish I could erase everything and start fresh. But of course, life must go on! Ever since then, I have work so hard into learning new way to study and to try to be the best at what I do. My life path has not been that easy but I managed to get the best out of it.

            Today, I am pursuing a Masters Degree of Science in Leadership and trying to apply to Medical School. I believe I am here because of my past and like it or not, my leadership orientation was tested early in my life. I cannot say, I am the best leader there is out there as I am sure there are very capable individuals. But I can say that I aim for perfection and motivating and helping others is my call or destine as others may call it. The impacts these stories have in myself are priceless. I am not a perfect human being but I never give up, and my little successes come from been stubborn and never giving up. Furthermore, these situations have affected me while in an organizational setting in the sense of always doing the right thing. By that I mean, leading others into following the rules, always playing as team players, and to enjoy what they do to reflect and transmit charisma. And the most important having autonomy and proactivity for themselves while working.

References

Denning, S. (2011). The leader's guide to storytelling: Mastering the art and discipline of business narrative. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass

           

            

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A521.2.3.RB – Danger of Stories

            Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is a novel and storywriter inspired by Nigerian history and tragedies all but forgotten by recent generations of westerners. Her TED video speech provides feedback on what the public, you, and me buy into when media is involved. In other words, the wrong true we accept when media channels the story. When people are told that something or someone is one thing, it is just a matter of how many times you listen to the same story, and you will start believing it. “What this demonstrates, I think, is how impressionable and vulnerable we are in the face of story, particularly as children” (Adichie, 2009). Stephen Denning provides the perfect quote example by Jonathan Swift, “It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of what he was never reason into” (2011, p. 59). Adichie challenges the audience into thinking outside the box, and going beyond what the unreasonable norm is in America.

            Her presentation delivered a huge message across the world and to whoever watches the video. Ms. Adichie’s background is that of a conventional middle-class West African family, who unlike a lot of us believe, had a normal life full of support and education. Her passion for reading and writing brought her to America where she faced numerous challenges in the hands of ignorance from others. While reflecting on her outrageous story, it is easy to think that some people may find themselves identify with the story, and therefore, loose tract of what the presenter is trying to say. But I think, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie assessed that probability and made unique attempt into keeping the spectators follow the story line with her by giving real, authentic information. At no time, was I lost while listening to her speech. Unlike Matthew McKay, Martha Davis, and Patrick Fanning (2009) believe, I did not experienced any of the listening blocks: comparing, mind reading, rehearsing, filtering, judging, dreaming, identifying, advising, sparring, being right, derailing, or placating.

            The message perceived was down to the point. I was able to listen with awareness. McKay, Davis, and Fanning suggest that there are two sides to listening with awareness:

One is to compare what’s being said to your own knowledge of history, people, and the way things are. You do this without judgment, simply making note of how a communication fits with known facts. The second way you listen with awareness is to hear and observe congruence. Does the person’s tone of voice, emphasis, facial expression, and posture fit the content of his or her communication? (2009, p. 22).

            In addition, although she had an accent when she talked, her pronunciation and feel for the story made her understandable. She did lack hand gesture and maybe some visuals aids in the background, but her communications skills were impressive. She truly demonstrated who she was, where she came from, and what she wanted from her audience. The author D. Joel Whalen and Tina M. Ricca (2007) explain the importance of communicating the meaning of the message. And by saying “meaning,” they mean “what you meant: your ideas, your passion, the goodness of your heard, and the impact of what you say on your listeners” (p. 16). The entire presentation, she passionately introduced everyone to see what she sees and the way she has been treated. She was able to transmit how she felt through her talk.

            In conclusion, the message she intended to give was to understand that there is really no single story to anything. Unfortunately, we all fail to educate ourselves with better facts from better sources and believe anything we are told. We lack cultural education and must continue seek for it in order to succeed. In the last minutes of her speech, she suggested that, “ when we reject the single story, when we realize that there is never a single story about any place, we regain a kind of paradise” (Adichie, 2009). Her last phrase meant so much in so little, and she is right. “Remember, successful communication begins with your desire to deliver messages you’ve mastered and have a passion to deliver” (Whalen & Ricca, 2007, p. 19).  

References

Adichie, C. (2009). The danger of a single story. Retrieved from http://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story

Denning, S. (2011). The leader's guide to storytelling: Mastering the art and discipline of business narrative. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass

McKay, M., Davis, M., & Fanning, P. (2009). Messages to communication skills book (3^rd ed.). Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

Whalen, D. & Ricca, T. (2007). The professional communication toolkit. Thousand Oaks, Calif.: Sage Publications.

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Describe a common story in your organization and discuss its implications on the organization. Does this story promote the goals and ideals of the organization? Does it help describe, "Who we are and what we stand for?" What is the story's impact on the culture of the organization?

A521.1.4.RB – Stories in your Organization

            I remember my first medical job on my first year in College as a medial receptionist. I had received the good news that Pediatric Associates, a medical facility with primary care physicians for kids, had hired me. At the time, I was only eighteen years old and had zero experience in the field. I had previously worked in sales and as a cashier, which gave me some advantage as far as customer service is. The next thing I know, I was on my way to training at their headquarters building. When I arrived, a couple of other hires were present waiting to see what the next step was. Subsequently, we were all directed to a large conference room with a TV surrounded by tables and chairs. From there on, my perspective on work changed drastically and forever.

            After all the greetings, the responsible trainer advised the entire group that we would be watching an inspiring video. We were advised that the company itself attempts to follow the same footsteps the video approaches. We were introduced to “Pike Place Fish Market,” a Seattle, Washington iconic seafood stall with entertainment. The video’s philosophy was about “engaging people and creating positive change in their workplace” (Yokoyama, 2015). The entire video demonstrated the choice we have when we work everyday and the choices we make. We all know fish market employees work hard; they work under tough conditions such as cold weather, they often have to be awake at early hours of the day, deal with smells, etc. Nevertheless, the Pike Place Fish Market wanted to impact not only their employees but also the world. They wanted to become famous to change how an organization can work in a healthy, happy, well-managed environment.

            Suddenly, Pediatric Associates demonstrated and promoted their goals and ideals as an organization just as Pike Place Fish Market did. John Yokoyama, the owner and founder of the fish market, wanted to be world famous, and what did he mean by that?  He meant “really being present with people and relating to them as human beings” (Yokoyama, 2015). The fish market corporation described who they were and where they stood by choosing to be different and providing outstanding service to people. Similarly, Pediatric Associates stimulated the idea of being different to our patients by having excellent customer service, by adding after hours care service at the same charge as an office visit, by opening on weekends, by playing as a team and not as an organization, by truly caring for our patients and their needs, by been flexible with employees, and by providing incentives to pursue our maximum capacity, to be “World Famous.”

            What is the story's impact on the culture of the organization? The story’s impact on the culture of the organization was tremendous and higher than they could even imagine. Not only did the company assured an incredible work environment for their employees, but also they changed the mindset of a lot of individuals. I took their knowledge, goals, and vision from there on to my succeeding jobs. Today, I carry high standards when it comes to dealing with people, especially while working. I believe this story made me realize the lack of customer service most organizations have. And my frustrations towards leaders’ ineffective skills to change bad habits, made me pursue a graduate program in leadership. My individual pursue constantly relies on trying to change the usual organizational standards and creating a stronger vision in organizations. I want to be “world famous!”

References

Yokoyama, J. (2015). How to become world famous - Pike Place Fish Market. Retrieved from https://www.pikeplacefish.com/about/world-famous/